Thinking about buying your first strap-on? Whether you’re curious, excited, or a little unsure, that’s totally normal. Strap-ons are incredibly versatile and can be used for everything from pegging and gender-affirming play to spicing up intimacy with a partner. But with so many harnesses, dildos, and styles out there, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
This guide will walk you through everything you need to know before buying your first strap-on—what to look for, how to use it, and how to make it a positive experience for both you and your partner.
1. What Is a Strap-On, Really?
A strap-on is a combination of:
✔️ A harness – worn around the hips (or thighs/chest) to hold the toy in place
✔️ A dildo or vibrator – inserted into the harness for penetration
It allows the wearer to perform penetrative sex regardless of their body parts. Strap-ons are used by people of all genders and sexual orientations—it’s all about what feels good and fun for you.
2. Why People Use Strap-Ons
Strap-ons aren’t just for one kind of person or one kind of sex. People use them for:
✔ Pegging (anal penetration of a man by a partner)
✔ Gender-affirming sex (especially for trans, non-binary, or gender non-conforming individuals)
✔ Power play and dominance/submission scenarios
✔ Queer sex – especially in lesbian or non-binary relationships
✔ Just for fun – adding variety to intimacy
💡 Tip: There’s no right or wrong reason to use a strap-on. It’s about pleasure, exploration, and connection.
3. Choosing the Right Harness
The harness is what holds the dildo in place and connects you to the experience. There are a few types:
🔹 Belt-Style (Adjustable Straps)
- Most popular and beginner-friendly
- Fully adjustable to fit a wide range of body types
- Offers strong support and control
🔹 Jock-Style Harness
- Similar to belt-style but with leg straps for added stability
- Often more comfortable for movement
🔹 Panty-Style or Brief Harness
- Lingerie-style, looks and feels like underwear
- Comfortable but may offer less control
- Ideal for lighter play and beginners
🔹 Boxer-Style or Packing Harness
- Great for gender-affirming wear
- Can be worn under clothes
- Some are designed for both packing and play
💡 Tip: Start with a harness that’s adjustable and made of soft, body-safe materials like nylon, cotton, or leather.
4. Picking the Right Dildo
The dildo is the business end of your strap-on—so choosing the right one is essential for a good experience.
🟢 For Beginners:
- Choose something small to medium-sized (4–5 inches long, 1–1.25 inches wide)
- Go for a soft, flexible silicone dildo
- Avoid anything too large or textured until you’re more comfortable
🟡 For Intermediate/Advanced Users:
- Explore different textures, sizes, and curves
- Try realistic dildos, dual-density options, or even vibrating dildos
✅ Look for Features Like:
- Flared base – to fit securely in the harness
- O-ring compatibility – for easy attachment
- Curved design – great for G-spot or prostate stimulation
💡 Tip: Many beginners find silicone dildos the most comfortable and hygienic—they’re non-porous, easy to clean, and body-safe.
5. Lubrication & Prep
Lubrication makes strap-on play way more comfortable and enjoyable, especially if you’re engaging in anal penetration.
✔️ Use a high-quality water-based lube (safe for silicone toys)
✔️ Don’t be shy—apply lube generously to the dildo and your partner
✔️ If using for anal play, consider using a plug or smaller toy to warm up first
6. How to Use a Strap-On (First Time Tips)
🌀 Practice Wearing the Harness First
– Adjust it for a snug but comfortable fit
– Walk around and move in it before adding the dildo
🌀 Start with Gentle Motion
– Penetration with a strap-on can feel different for both partners
– Start slow, communicate, and let the receiver guide pace and depth
🌀 Try Different Positions
– Missionary, doggy-style, cowgirl—whatever feels natural
– Use pillows or supports to get the right angles
🌀 Use a Mirror
– A mirror can help with positioning and boost confidence for the wearer
💡 Tip: Wearing a strap-on can feel empowering and playful—don’t take it too seriously! Laugh, experiment, and have fun.
7. Clean-Up & Care
✔️ Wash silicone dildos with mild soap and warm water, or boil them for deeper cleaning
✔️ Clean harnesses based on material (many are machine washable)
✔️ Let everything air dry before storing in a clean, dust-free place
8. Final Thoughts: Your First Strap-On Experience
Your first time using a strap-on should be about exploration, not perfection. Choose products that make you feel comfortable and confident, communicate with your partner, and most importantly—have fun with it.
✅ Quick Recap:
- Choose an adjustable harness
- Pick a beginner-friendly dildo
- Use plenty of lube
- Start slow and communicate often
- Clean everything thoroughly afterward
🔞 Ready to try something new? Explore our collection of strap-ons, dildos, and harnesses for every body and every fantasy.
